I was fortunate to attend a presentation by Dr Howard Chilton at my local hospital. He gives a weekly presentation that is free, and open to the public, so if you’re anywhere near the Royal Hospital for Women in Randwick in Sydney on a Thursday, it’s the perfect introduction to baby.
Here’s Dr Chilton’s website www.babydoc.com.au. His book, Baby on Board, is the number one book to read before you bring baby home. His basic premise is that human babies are born premature (so their heads can fit out our narrow pelvises designed for upright walking). They still need a ‘fourth trimester’ before they’re ready to face the world. This is otherwise referred to as ‘womb service’ – baby generally needs to be in a dark, non-stimulating environment for its first 12 weeks.
Chilton writes:
How much stimulation your baby can cope with depends on his basic temperament. All babies are different.
There are a few babies who self-soothe from the moment they’re born. These babies can be taken to work and meet a hundred people and not get upset. Most babies have a limit, though – you need to find out where your baby’s limit is and keep the level under that.
Some super-sensitive babies can’t leave the confines of their darkened room for the first three months of their life. Don’t worry; they won’t suffer from sensory deprivation. Their most important lesson is learning how to calm themselves.Over-stimulated babies soon start to display the classic symptoms of ‘colic’. Again, as Chilton writes:
Colic has never been about pain in the abdomen or anywhere else for that matter; it’s not about heartburn or ‘wind’. It certainly isn’t about the baby’s stomach. Neither is it anything to do with mother’s mental state, nor the food she eats while breast-feeding, nor the brand of formula if she’s not breastfeeding.
The reason it’s so hard for parents to figure it out for themselves is the cause is counter-intuitive and, no question, the baby looks like he or she is in excruciating pain. The baby doubles up, knees in chest, and screams like there’s a knife twisting in his gut. But it’s not about pain, it’s about overstimulation of the poor baby’s sensory nervous system.
Before we proceed however, please do not think that this is some crackpot notion dreamed up by some theoretical psychologist or the sound of a particular bee buzzing in my personal bonnet. Every nurse working in a mothercraft hospital, everyone who chooses to read the literature and every neonatologist that spends time observing his babies, knows this is so.My experience matched this pretty closely. I now recognise the screams of my baby (and other babies) when they’re too tired to cope with the world. It sounds awful, like their legs are being amputated and, just when you think it can’t get any louder, they ratchet up the volume even more. It’s incredibly heart-wrenching. They’re writhing around as if they’re in complete agony. They just need sleep and no more stimulation. This is much easier said than done.
It’s very hard to keep baby under wraps. You want to get baby out into the world! Don’t worry. There will be plenty of time for your baby to explore the world once they’re over this period. In the mean time, try to get enough sleep yourself. Nap, read, talk to friends on the phone, watch TV (when baby is asleep in another room), surf the net, attend the Early Childhood Centre and make friends with other mummies. Just don’t overdo the baby stimulation. Absolutely no visits to the shopping centre!
We found that the best things to do for the first 12 weeks are:
- Wrap baby tightly in a large muslin (120x120cm) or off-the-shelf baby wrap system. Keep baby tightly bundled, arms and legs tucked in firmly
- Go into a darkened room
- Hold baby and jiggle or rock for a long time
- Remain calm and keep rocking, even if they’re screaming in your ear. Eventually this will calm them down.
Other things to try are:
- Put on some white noise (radio FM static, mp3 or CD)
- Lie down in bed with baby snuggled into your chest, and both go to sleep (or read)
- Feed, breastfeed or offer a dummy
- Sing lullabies (even if it’s out of tune or you need to make up the words). Hearing your voice is very reassuring for babies
- We found two tunes in particular calmed our baby down (one a hummed song based on a Viennese waltz, the other is one I made up about his favourite toy, Mr Flutterbye)
- Put baby in a baby sling (eg Baby Bjorn or Ergobaby – the single best investment you’ll ever make for a newborn) and go for a long walk.
There is no single solution to creating the perfect newborn baby environment. Make sure you look after yourself: sleep, go for walks, eat properly, sleep some more, and ASK FOR HELP from your family, partner or friends.
