The hormones in your body go AWOL in the first 3-4 days following birth. One psychiatrist described it to me as ‘the worst PMT you’ve ever had’. It’s bad. But I found the lowest of the low occurred at around 14 days: It’s different for everyone. The sleep deprivation, endless tears (from baby and you!), long nights, and the bizarre warping of time, is all really tough.
I have a history of depression, and was worried about getting post-natal depression. I had already discussed this with my GP and decided on an action plan. Before the birth I regularly met with a psychological counsellor and also attended the hospital’s out-patient clinic which had a program targeting women with pre and post-natal depression. This turned out to be a life saver for me.
A couple of weeks after giving birth my mood kept plummeting. I started having thoughts that life was too hard. I felt worthless, and didn’t want to keep living. This sent alarm bells off for me and my partner – this is not okay! I called the hospital’s outpatient clinic and went in straight away. The psychiatrist changed my medication and things improved very rapidly from there. I’m so glad I knew what symptoms to look out for and did something about it.
I know many mums who’ve had post-natal depression. One who got counselling therapy, one who needed hospitalising for five weeks (she was having panic attacks and obsessing about whether she might be harming her baby), and yet another who turned out to have a thyroid condition.
It’s not worth waiting for your bad mood to pass. If you’ve been feeling low for more than two weeks, or if you’re having thoughts about harming your baby or yourself, see your GP right away. They won’t take your baby away from you, they won’t force you to take medication, and you won’t be forced to go to hospital. You’ll be asked some questions, which are completely confidential between you and your GP. Your GP will discuss options on how to deal with the situation. If your GP recommends counselling this will be covered by Medicare for the first 6 or even 12 sessions, and they’ll be able to make recommendations on who to see. It’s all completely voluntary, and there is nothing wrong with taking precautions.
I’ve also had friends say that they thought their partners would help them more than they did. One said she kept telling her partner that she wasn’t coping, but the message just didn’t seem to get through (for me it felt like I was talking under water). Your partner genuinely wants to offer all the assistance they can. They don’t know what’s going on any more than you do, and they certainly don’t know what the right answers are. So when you say ‘I’m not coping’ they may offer platitudes or act dismissive, but inside they’re just as freaked out as you are.
Don’t expect your partner to come up with the answers or magically fix it all. Call your GP and, if you want to take your partner along for support, by all means do so. One web resource that may be useful is www.beyondblue.org.au
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